Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Breakdown

Just finished a fluid infusion at home, and the former NICU nurse who is B's new IHC Home Health Care case manager is training me to place a pediatric I.V. myself.

After the nurse's first encounter with Bridgette's violent strength trying to get away from the needle, she actually asked me if I'd like to place the I.V. today. I suggested I'd rather watch at least once. It took her two tries, and while the second one worked, B's vein looks pretty swollen. I don't know how long it will last.

The nurse also mentioned that she wouldn't be able to give her own child an I.V. After watching the process carefully, I thought, "Oh yeah. I could do that." What does this say about me?

Baby hasn't vomited since this morning, but her appetite is at nearly zero and her temperature is on the rise. We're back to rectal irrigations too. I just did one a few minutes ago after Bridgette woke up crying mid-nap.

The infusion went well enough, I guess, though babs has yet to urinate. Also, since Bridgette is older, stronger, and more adept every day, she managed to unscrew the tubing from the cannula mid-stream. That part was bad. Asking her not to play with the tubing hanging off her arm is certainly getting trickier. I try to avoid power-struggles, but in some cases, they are necessary. She and I fight each other like pros. We could sell tickets.

At this point, my hunch is that Bridgette is in fact experiencing a bacterial overgrowth of some kind. The pull-back I got from the irrigation was neon green and Bridgette is not pooping on her own. However, there is not an excessive amount of pull-back, perhaps 10-30 ml more than I pump in, and that's a good thing. I guess it means we're catching things before she's explosive? Also, the second and third syringefuls came back fairly clear. Now I hope that treatment brings relief and healing.

Not sure why her system never seems to completely amend. She's a special girl, that's for sure. Poor baby has had more experience in 21 months than many people do in a lifetime. We're hoping to avoid a hospital stay, but it may be inevitable if we don't see improvement.

I haven't slept in a few days. If this keeps up, I will slowly unwind physically and emotionally. But don't worry. I don't plan to have a breakdown until Friday.


April said...

Oh I'm so sorry-- hoping for health, answers and SLEEP :)

123 checkoutourfamily said...

Oh, bless you. You're absolutely right...that's a lot for someone to go through...especially in the first 2 years of their life. She's a very determined girl(like her Mama).